Sometimes it’s hard to talk about difficult things that are going on in your life. Sometimes, it is even harder to talk to your friends or your family about what’s happening in your life, or if you’re feeling lonely and sad. The sad reality is that, life’s unexpected twists and turns often times causes people to suffer in silence. That suffering, when done alone can become an immense weight placed upon someone who feels as if they have no outlet or anyone that they can rely on. This isolation of sadness is a difficult and occasionally impossible feeling to escape. I’ve seen and dealt with myself how life can sometimes really bog you down in negativity and depression.
But how do you make sense of tragedy? How do you rectify when sad unfortunate events occur in your life? How do you handle the fucking weight of the world seemingly crashing down on you unexpectedly? It’s really difficult to answer these questions. Personally I have dealt with depression and that’s definitely difficult for me to admit. For the better part of a year I was in a huge funk and I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. I spent tons money on material things, hoping that these objects would make me feel better. I was wrong. I tried traveling, partying, I did everything I could to put on a typically happy John face. But the truth of the matter was inside I felt very alone, and unable to tell people how I felt. That I was seemingly happy on the outside, is what makes it difficult to address friends or family who may be suffering from these sorts of feelings.
It is hard to move on sometimes when your life seemingly takes a huge shit on your head, but through the challenges in life often times come unexpected bright spots. For me, the year or so I dealt with depression made me very thankful for the people I have in life, especially my friends and family. I think the most important thing that people lose sight of when they’re suffering in silence is the fact that they are often times surrounded by loved ones. It can just be difficult to keep your eye on the fact that there are people there to help you. You’re so busy inside your own head that you lose sight of the people who are there for you. When you are feeling these feelings of loneliness, and the inability to tell people how you feel, it doesn’t matter if you’re surrounded by friends and family because you still feel alone. The one thing I learned was that you don’t have to be in pain alone, and you don’t have to feel lost like nobody in the world knows what you’re going through or how you feel. Life is very unfair sometimes, and it can feel as if it’s you against everything and everyone, but you’re not alone.
Life is so unfair sometimes. The fact is, that the unfairness of life can at times have the ability to put a very necessary perspective on your life, and who you are. The truth is that life is insanely precious and incredibly short, and I’m really not sure our generation does a good enough job acknowledging this. It is the most cliche sentiment every but life is incredibly short. While you may feel alone, you do have people in your life that are there for you. For me, it took very real, and very difficult conversations with my brother to make me realize that I wasn’t being me. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist, or a friend so I leaned on the one person I knew I could rely on. I realized I wasn’t my normal happy self anymore and I had to figure out a way, or at least a process that worked for me that enabled me to move passed life’s speed bumps. It might not have been easy, but with time, family, and friends I was able to work through my depressed state and get back to normal.
Throughout my life I have always felt this immense desire to live my life as each day was my last because I’ve seen first hand that at any minute someone you love or care about can be taken far to early and far too soon. The sad fact of the matter is that there are times in your life where you don’t have that ability. You can’t see how precious life is because you’re stuck in this state of self despair. I’ve never spoken about how I dealt with depression or the negative effects it’s had on my life before but the fact is, people are feeling this way on a daily basis. It’s really not easy to talk about this at all, but if I’m able to put a face to the fact that anybody can deal with depression, maybe someone out there can see that they’re not alone either.
We live in this YOLO culture and a generation that’s more concerned with the number of likes on their social media pages than the things that really matter. Truthfully, as we become more “connected” we’re actually losing touch with the people in our life more. You can easily put on a happy face through social media all the while suffering alone. It takes a lot to break out and admit you’re having a problem but there are people that care about you and people that will help you. It’s ok to ask for help and I hope you do realize, you’re not alone.