How do you judge a person’s worth? Sound familiar to yesterday? Stick with me here. What is it that matters most to you? Is it kindness? Generosity? Sense of humor? What do you judge a person by and what would you like to be judged upon? It’s funny, I never once thought to ask myself this question until now. Maybe I’ve grown up? Doubtful, but just what is it that I find inherently important to me? I’m the type of person that cares extraordinarily little about what a person thinks of me. However, we all find that one person in our life that no matter what they do to us. Meaning if they hurt us more than anyone else, you always care what they think of you. Why is that?
It’s odd. Who gives a fuck what someone who’s hurt you thinks? And yet constantly, those same people’s opinions matter more to you than any other persons. Truthfully I don’t give a flying fuck if someone thinks I’m a good guy or a bad guy. I have good friends, good family, and I know eventually I’m going to find someone who loves me for everything I am. Judge for yourself what type of person you are. Let your own opinion be the one that matters. Sadly, there is an increasing number of people today that allow themselves to be manipulated, hurt, and continual brought down by people who should not be in their lives.
It seems easy once you’re in a relationship to lose yourself in becoming more of a ‘we’ and less of a ‘me’. It’s a very common occurrence, and totally understandable. As you begin to build a life with someone you make changes to yourself and your likes and dislikes. You don’t have to become a different person but you do make subtle changes about who you are to make someone else happy. At what point though do you begin to lose who you are? At what point do the tiny changes you make turn into a monumental dissolution of the person you are? It’s a slippery slope, one I think we’ve all been down, and what I think it ultimately circles back to is finding happiness in yourself.
You don’t listen to rap music if you don’t like rap music. Stupid analogy but see where I’m going with this…You don’t go to a football game if you don’t like football. Yet, in countless instances you find yourself doing things for other people that you likely otherwise would not. Why is that? When did people stop becoming interested in self discovery and more interested in being with someone? You make sacrifices to be in a relationship. You give and you take. It’s one of the more important parts of a functioning healthy relationship. The difference is, it’s very easy to lose yourself in your partners interests and start leaving your own behind. There’s always that dumb cliche joke in movies about a guy having to go to the ballet to impress his girlfriend. Or the girl rooting for her boyfriends favorite sports teams. And while all of that is well and good and obviously crucial to making a relationship work, it can come at a cost. You have to be willing to express yourself, and more importantly understand who you are, and what you like to see what you matter to yourself.
There are an unfortunate number of women out there that have been beaten, verbally abused, all sorts of awful, horrible, reprehensible things. The sad thing here goes beyond the acts of physical violence but the mental toll and scars they leave behind. Destroying a persons self worth. Eviscerating a persons ability to feel worthy of love, worthy of compassion is in essence destroying their future. You will not be able to recover from abuses of this level.
So what am I saying here? I really don’t know. I’m struggling to formulate a cohesive conclusion to this ramble but I think I’ll go with something like this…You matter. You’re worth something. You are worthy of love and deserve to be loved. So why settle for less than extraordinary? Why allow yourself to fall by the wayside? Reach for what you want and strive to find someone who completes and compliments you. Not someone who’s going to tear you down.